The Middle Urinal

We have 3 urinals at work. Obviously, a left one, a right one, and one in the middle (in between the aforementioned left & right one).

There are then 4 stalls with full toilets and doors next to those urinals. Are you with me?

Here's my issue:

DON'T USE THE MIDDLE URINAL!!!!!!

Scenario 1:
I walk into the bathroom.
No urinals are taken.
Which one do I use?

OBVIOUSLY, the urinal on the left or the right.

Why? because I'm not a selfish jerk who wants someone else to feel uncomfortable, should I be using the middle one.

Scenario B:
I walk into the bathroom.
Urinal to the left is taken.
Which one do I use?

OBVIOUSLY, the urinal on the far right.
Why? because I'm not gay and I don't feel like sidleing up to the guy on the left and start peeing next to him.

Scenario D:
I walk into the bathroom.
Urinals left and right are taken.
Which one do I use?

OBVIOUSLY, none - it's a trick. I mozy on into one of the stalls, and pee in there. WHY? because I'm not selfish, or gay.

Scenario 6:
I'm peeing in the left urinal... there's nobody using the middle or the right urinal.
Guy walks in and starts to pee in the middle urinal.
What do I do?

OBVIOUSLY, turn slowly, and pee on his leg. WHY? Because he's definitely some sort of sick bathroom weirdo who wants to be able to peek over the extremely low divider and stare at my package. He could have avoided this by using the urinal to the right, and let me keep my personal space.

Scenario G:
I walk into the bathroom.
There's a guy peeing in the middle urinal. Both left and right urinals are open.
What do I do?

OBVIOUSLY, find the nearest baseball bat and club him over the head with it. WHY? Because just from this incident we can either determine, he is a selfish jerk who doesn't want anyone else to use the urinals next to him, so he feels he owns the bathroom, OR, he is the bathroom weirdo, lurking once again, hoping someone will pee next to him.

Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being gay... that's fine, I don't care if its your preference. But if that's you, and you want a free peek at someones package... keep it out of the workplace and into the clubs or bars you frequent.

I am saying there is something wrong with being a bathroom weirdo, or being a selfish jerk. Don't do it... and I think I have established your guidelines.

BARKING MAD I TELL YA!

Hi.

So... I hate it when my dogs bark. I leave them out to play a lot of the time, and sometimes, they get rowdy, and they bark, or the pure beagle howls (like a lunatic). As soon as I hear them... I call them inside. It's not nice for the neighbors to have to put up with it... so I try and do the right thing. Makes sense right?

But here's my issue...

I got a real moron who lives down the street. He is an inconsiderate fugly punk who I strongly have an urge to run outside and beat into a bloody pulp. He walks his poofy little chow (which I consider one of THE ugliest dogs on the planet, by the way) on the sidewalk next to my house. That's fine.. it's public property. However, he notices (and its OBVIOUS) that when he walks by and my dogs are in the back yard, my dogs start acting up and barking at him and his dog. Now, other people walk their dogs too, and I have seen on more than one occasion, that if my dogs start barking, they move on. They understand that it's probably their presence disturbing the peace and serenity of a beautiful day, and they take their dog for the rest of the walk. Not this stupid, worthless excuse for a human being. He actually stops and stops the dog and stands there. I've watched him from my window as he stops and eggs on the barking. It's only when I come outside to pull in my dogs that he starts to walk away. Like he wasn't loitering to begin with.

Whats the law for picking off people on the street like this with a BB gun? I'd love to really take out a leg or a shoulder from my window where I watch from and teach him to move on. But really, will it do any good? These people are all about themselves. And it just ain't right. Wheres the decency? Wheres the common courtesy?

UGHHHH.

Welcome...

OK - so everyone I know blogs. Blog this and blog that. I read theirs and think... I could write about that. Or I think... WAIT A MINUTE... I just talked to this person about that, and they blogged it. Why didnt I do that? And wait a minute more... they left out one of the most important details.
So now... it appears Im blogging about other bloggers. That should go over well in the blogging community.
Anyway... here is what you can expect from me, and my future rantings... I complain. A lot. The world bothers me. People DEFINITELY bother me. All the little annoying things in life that people usually suck up and ignore or deal with... I dont. I point it out, and I explain why its an issue, and why it should no longer be tolerated. It seems that society has evolved into a selfish, "it's all about me" place making just walking through the mall a tedious chore these days. And Im not joking... people stroll at their own pace, 7 people long, blocking all traffic. Or people will cut you off and practically step on your toes to get into a store 3 seconds faster than if they had just waited for you to pass. Its not like Im a feeble old man with a walker - Im a quick walking 32 year old - trust me... Im over the 6' tall mark.. I have long legs, and Im not lazy. People really just have never and not a care in the world. And I wanna call them out.
Stop cutting me off in the mall, please. The store will be there after I pass it. I promise.